A day of kinship; in the evening a small company in honour of the relatives, R. in the most cheerful spirit. A visit to Feustel gives at least no immediate cause for concern. Lulu’s birthday filled me with melancholy; how heavily do I bear—and ever shall bear—that one thought; I consume myself in wishes for H. sen’s well-being [1]; will a gracious God hear me, will Fate have compassion, or does all remain silent and sombre, grey as the autumn sky, dead as the leaves now falling? …
[1] Hans von Bülow, who exhausted himself through concert tours to provide for his daughters Daniella (Lusch or Lulu) and Blandine (Boni).
Revised English translation by Jo Cousins.