R. wakes up crying and lamenting, having dreamed that, after some misbehaviour on his part, I left him. He also dreamed of four-hand sonatas played by his father, and a lady who mocked him, to whom he responded by giving her “a cuff”; despite all her pleading, I was determined to leave! … Farewell at 1 o’clock; the little ones are crying terribly as they part from the older children; Fidi is practically screaming. I arrive with the two oldest at 10 o’clock in Dresden! … A heavy mood, how difficult the path is. – – – I am concerned about R. – – – “One feels like a complete fool at times,” he says, thinking about his endeavour. I write to him expressing my gratitude for the love and kindness he showed the children over these six years, and I add my expression of sorrow.
Revised English translation by Jo Cousins.